The ten and the two is the lonliest sight
Wherever I go, whatever I do,
I wonder where I am in my relationship to you.
Wherever you go, wherever you are,
I watch your life play out in pictures from afar.
Well shit, John Mayer.
Work
Today was the first day of the rest of my life, or at least until the next first day of the rest of my life comes along (I don't know, one of the great milestones of life?).
Today was my first day of work outside of school. Of course, when I say work, I mean work in the sense that someone is paying me to physically be somewhere. In this instance, I am in the process of "onboarding." That means four days of orientation. Learning about the firm and being unproductive in terms of real work. I suppose it's okay though since I'm getting paid for the time.
But honestly, this orientation reminds me of those times in video games where the computer NPC tries to acclimate you to the game. You can't really skip it, and the information is vital to be able to be successful, but half of it is knowledge you already knew inherently ("use the joystick to move!" -thanks douchebag, obviously I know that since I walked over to you in the first place), and the other half you figure you'll learn along the way.
I swear though, thank God there isn't an option at the end that says "do you want me to repeat that?" The Legend of Zelda, Ocarina of Time has fuxed me over so very much everytime that damn owl shows up. I literally zoom through his dialogue mashing "b" to skip it (literally the thought is "tl;dr") and he goes: "Do I need to repeat that?" and the cursor is on "yes."
Fuck you Kaepora Gaebora.
Cracker Barrel
I love Cracker Barrel. It is a wonderful place with great food, but today I had an interesting encounter.
After washing my hands and drying them off, I walk to the door and a 10 year old fat red-headed kid opens the door for me.
Surprised at this young gentleman's act of random kindness, I simply stated, "Thanks!"
He looked at me for a moment before saying, "I didn't know China people could talk English."
Can we just ponder this for a moment? A ten year old kid says to me (I've lived in the States more than twice as long as he has) that he did not know that "China men," not Chinese mind you, could "talk" English.
Well, I don't get offended often, and I didn't here either. However, I did have a snarky comeback that I refused to exercise out of fear of getting lynched. Also, it was wildly inappropriate.
"Oh, well we can! Today I also learned that apparently soulless gingers can do nice things. Go do something like avoid the sun or something."
Too much? Probably.
Alcohol
Please note that this is not meant to be serious and, instead, construed as a piece of humour.
First Love
I have often listened to people discuss the merits of different types of alcohol with respect to themselves. "I like this one," "This one makes me take my clothes off," and "I will never drink that one... I had a bad experience once." Now, it seems quite easy to explain the relationship one might have with a certain variety of alcohol, but I find these descriptions quite boring at times. Instead, I have begun to describe alcohol in terms of actual human relationship. Is it the really loud girl that is fun sometimes but usually not? Is it my first love? The one I settled for?
So today I discuss whisky. Well, to be exact, what we would call whiskey. In this category I exclude the Scottish and Irish whiskys and focus on bourbon, Tennessee whiskeys, and the like (henceforth to be just put under the broad category of "bourbon"). As the title implies, bourbon would be like my first love. It is where the journey begins- the first alcohol I really ever enjoyed. She's a lot of fun whether your out on the town, having a low-key get together with friends, or just staying in because it is raining. Bourbon is there, and she makes things fun.
Now, I think it's important to mention that a lot of people will tolerate different types of alcohol when they're dressed up in the right way. You put grain alcohol with grape juice, and she loses her bite, so to speak. Like I said before, bourbon is my first love. I like her whether she's decided to get herself all gussied up or even when she's decided not to put on makeup. I like her in fancy clothes, plain clothes, or no clothes at all. I'll take her anyway she comes.
I do feel like I'm talking about all the great things in this relationship, but not really discussing the negative side of things. Bourbon and I certainly have our disagreements. Let's be honest here, we've all had our battles with everyone we know, and, while we generally get along, when bourbon and I fight, it's pretty epic. However, as all love goes, we move past those moments, and we return to each other.
Unfortunately, I do believe that all first loves (or almost all) fade away, and the honeymoon period is over. I find myself drifting away from bourbon, and while I enjoy the thrill of spending time with her on occasion, I'm beginning to move on the new horizons. I'm finding others that I get along with, and while I'm sure I'll move on to bigger and better things, I'm sure I'll never have the same relationship with those as I've had with bourbon.
Thoughts?
This is Avi!
Hi everyone, I'm at work, and apparently thus far there is nothing for me to do, so I've decided that I will learn how to make excellent drawings in MS Paint. Eventually I will move back to Photoshop, but Paint was from my elementary school days (that's a lie, KidPix was, but I don't have that now do I?) so I figured I should master this stuff first. I drew a picture of my...boss? He's not really my boss, but he's above me, and I'm squatting in his office. This is what he looks like, I swear.
I'll post anything else I draw. Especially if they're ugly.
Bear hug!
Ok I admit, this one makes no sense and snot very funny, but I drew the bear and was like, uh.. okay now what?
Anyway, this is what I think the wild is like. Don't be surprised if you wake up one day to find out that I was eaten by a polar bear. Doubtful though... everyone knows bears only give out hugs and stuff.